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The Art of the Perfect Follow-Up Message

Published on May 12, 2024

The first date went great. You laughed, you connected, and you definitely want to see them again. But now comes the tricky part: the follow-up text. It's a delicate balance. You want to show you're interested without coming on too strong. Here's how to nail it.

The Golden Rule: Don't Wait Too Long

The old advice about waiting three days is officially dead. In the age of instant communication, waiting too long can be misinterpreted as a lack of interest. A good rule of thumb is to text within 24 hours.

Reference a Specific Moment

A generic "I had a great time" is fine, but it's forgettable. A great follow-up message references a specific, positive moment from the date. This shows you were present and paying attention.

  • Example: "Hey! Still laughing about that story you told about your trip to Italy. I had a really fun time with you tonight."

Be Clear About Your Intentions

If you want to see them again, say so! There's no need for games. Being direct is confident and attractive. You don't have to plan the whole date in the follow-up text, but you should plant the seed for the future.

Combine the specific reference with your intention for a powerful one-two punch.

Example: "That Italian restaurant was amazing, thanks for the recommendation! I'd love to do it again sometime soon."

Keep it Light and Positive

The follow-up text is not the time for a deep, heavy conversation. Keep the tone light, positive, and forward-looking. Your goal is simply to express your interest and open the door for the next interaction. When you get stuck on how to phrase it, try using an AI assistant to get some ideas.

What If They Don't Reply Immediately?

Relax. People have lives. They might be busy with work, family, or other commitments. Give them some time to respond. If a day or two goes by without a reply, it's okay to send a low-pressure, second follow-up, but after that, it's best to leave the ball in their court.